Friday Fiction:[…] now about that courtesy car…(pilot calls county airport).

RING RING

Confused City Employee, (condescending tone) “[…] Uh who were you attempting to reach?”

Call Center_final_file1701271767043

Aviator, “The airport.” “Seven – Xray – Gemini – Oscar.” “Ya know, Righteous Municipal Aerodrome?”

Confused City Employee, “Oh you need to call 999-555-XXXX — you’ll want to talk to Spud Gahzlepants, he’s with city hall.”

PILOT HANGS UP PHONE

RING RING

Next Confused City Employee, (really mumbled, disengaged) “City Hall.”

Aviator, “I’m looking for Spud Gahzlepants….I’d like some information about the courtesy car at the airport.”

Next Confused City Employee, “the airport?” “I don’t know anything about an airport… a car — what?”

city hall pic_final_file8841277786793

Aviator, “often airports have courtesy or crew cars for pilots when they fly in.”

Next Confused City Employee, “well, I don’t know anything about that… I thought airports were for airplanes, CHUCKLE CHUCKLE.”

Aviator, “It’s a paradoxical marvel.”

Next Confused City Employee, “what?”

Aviator, “I don’t know, never mind.”

Next Confused City Employee, “hold on, and I’ll get Spud.”

HOLDING (tragically bland on hold music)

Spud Gahzlepants, “Hi, this is Spud.”

Aviator, “Hi Spud, I was needing some information on the airport, actually the courtesy car….”

Spud Gahzlepants, “oh, the airport, hmmm — well, I don’t really know anything about that.” “The airport, huh….”

Aviator, “Uh, yeah, Seven – Xray – Gemini – Oscar.” “It’s been there since 1934!”

airport_airial view_final

Spud Gahzlepants, “ooooh yeah, that’s right. Well, I don’t really know. You probably need to speak with Wilke Fantahmangalanda at the Police Department.”

Aviator, the police department?”

Spud Gahzlepants, yeah, they handle the calls to the airport — hang on let me get ya that number.”

MOMENTS LATER AVIATOR CALLS POLICE DEPARTMENT / FEELING DUMB

Police Dept., “hello the police….”

Aviator, “Hi there, I was needing information about a courtesy car at the airport.”

Pilot on Phone II_final_file0001382919230

Police Dept., “The what?”

Aviator, “The airport — Seven – Xray – Gemini – Oscar… Righteous Municipal Aerodrome.”

Police Dept., “well, hang on a minute.”

HOLDING IN DEEP DARK SILENCE

Police Dept., “this is Sergeant Ramalamadingdang.”

Aviator, “Hi Mr. Ramalamadingdang, I was needing information on the courtesy car at the airport.”

Police Dept., “huh…hell, I don’t know anything about that.” “tell you what, you need to call Spud Gahzlepants at city hall…it’s 999-55—

Aviator, “that’s okay, I’ve already talked to Mr. Gahzlepants.” “Thanks, appreciate your — help.”

903222_10151416010238932_1571983574_o

—almost no airports were harmed during these calls, or the retelling of actual events— —names have been to altered to ridiculousness to protect the tragically guilty—

 

 

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